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vivid

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It has begun. It attacked me once again, around the same time it does every damn year: the fear. The fear that originates from my desperate love for winter, for darkness, for the muted hues -- and losing them. I know, summer is not even near really, but it will come. It always does, at first in the form of nightmares, then in the form of rising temperatures and that god damned sunlight. It gets me anxiously aggravated to even think it, it sends me towards panic attack once again.

And then there is the question...
When will it take me, when will I lose this damned battle I already feel too tired to fight?

I know I will survive in the end, I always do, but it doesn't really ease these feelings. I'd like just to skip that damn season of sunshine and that damn blessed joyousness of others that just makes me sick with jealousness, because I can't take part in it. I can't when my mind is playing tricks, my body is shutting down and my eyes ache like hell.

...

so yeah, a vent. Pardon me being a little dramatic here, but I assure you, I'm not fooling around when I say summer is just suffering for me; suffering and longing for the darkness and colder temperatures. And I need to get it out. I need to get it out.
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KaaoksenKorppi's avatar
Samoin minulla. Kevät tuo tullessaan vain ikävää aina. Pidän enemmän syksystä ja talvesta. En minäkään pidä valosta ja kuumuudesta.

Mutta jälleen kerran työsi näyttää todella hyvältä. Ensin tosin olin vähällä katsoa että koiralla olisi monta jalkaa, heh. Sinun tyylisi on kyllä upea. Käpälät näyttävät jälleen niin ihanan käpäliltä kuin olla ja voi. Olisin halunnut, että ehkä sinä piirtäisit minun Lobotomian kun kuvasi ja ideasi ovat niin hienoja, mutta... ei sillä taida olla enää väliä koska...